How to Walk Among the Hipsters, Ironically
Over the last few years fashion trends have pulled a complete 180 and gone from baggy jeans and branded accessories to vintage dresses, plain highly buttoned shirts and jeans so tight that they may as well be made of Lycra. Take this trendy new fashion sense and add a specialist blend of coffee that no ones ever heard of and bam! you’ve got yourself a hipster. This funny-looking bunch of teens, tweens and youngins’ have slowly but surly been taking over the globe, but fear not loyal reader, the Urban Insider has your back!
So way back in 2012 our awesome little town of Newcastle was judged as one of the top places to be in the world for hipsters. Subsequently since then we’ve had a buzzillion percent increase in our hipster population. So if your not quite feeling this abstract revolution then don’t stress, we’ve devised a 5-step plan just for you, which will help you blend in and walk among the hipsters as if you were one of their own.
Step 1: Hipster Dress Sense(less)
One of the easiest ways to identify a hipster is by the way they are dressed, in order to blend in you’ll need a few additions to your wardrobe. Lets start from the top:
Hat: Regardless of climate a hipster will always have access to a beanie (Ironically). A gray oversize woollen or knitted beanie works best but bright colours such as florescent oranges and yellows also work. The best part about wearing a florescent beanie while trying to blend in is that you’ll be wearing it ironically, which is hipster gold.
Boys Tops: For the male hipsters it’s all about the irony. A fitted shirt with a ridiculous floral pattern works perfectly, button it all the way up and leave the sleaves unrolled for that timeless finish.
Girls Tops: For the hipsterets it’s all about nonconformity and independence. Unfortunately for some, this means swapping your Gucci and Armani for nonmainstream brands and wearing them a few sizes too big. The ‘boyfriend look’ is also acceptable, in other words, it’s ok to raid his wardrobe. (I don’t get the independence in that either)
Pants, Skirts and Shoes: For males skinny jeans and skinny shorts are your options, however you can wear any and every colour you can think of, the tighter the better but steer clear of the mainstream brands such as Levis and G-Star. The girls have a few more options, skinny jeans are also allowed and 50’s style skirts are popular. Steer clear of denim skirts though, not even hipsters are that ironic. As for shoes any old beaten up pair of Converse you have will work fine, but old boots, dress shoes and flats for girls work even better.
You can find most of this stuff in your local 2nd hand store, but if you not really into 2nd hand gear then this is where you need to shop:
Step 2: Hipster Coffee
Coffee used to be for the hard working businessman or woman who needed a sweet aromatic pick-me-up to send them on their way. Not anymore. Coffee baristas these days need a 4-year degree to manufacture the abstract orders they get from the hipster community. The key to ordering hipster coffee is to make sure the beans are organic and ask for every ingredient individually, you can still have your regular coffee, you just have to order it differently. Your cappuccino becomes ‘a double shot, half and half soy cappuccino with less foam, 3 sugars and no chocolate dusting, heated to 176 degrees Fahrenheit’ (because Celsius is too conformist). Memorise this order and no one will know the difference.
Step 3: Irony
Irony is your get out of jail free card when it comes to faking hipsterisms. If you slip up and walk out of the house wearing a set of Levis jeans or a G-Star t-shirt then your response to anyone who pulls you up on it is simply ‘I’m wearing it ironically’. This little phrase when said with a sarcastic tone will ensure you get through your day without trouble.
Step 4: Hipster-gram
Hipsters love nothing more than ordering complicated drinks and food then taking a snap shot and posting to Instagram… ironically. If you want to keep up-to-date with the latest trends then make yourself an account, set your camera to the sepia lens with the high contrast take a few ironic food- slefies.
Step 5: Hipster Music
Alternative music to hipsters isn’t quite the same as the genre. Alternative music choice would be more along the lines of unearthed music from Triple J or unsigned bands without labels. It can be quite hard to find some of this music but the Triple J unearthed website has enough to keep you safe undercover.
Follow these 5 steps and you’ll be hipsterised in no time. You’ll be able to walk among this emerging subculture and even interact with no troubles.